Ode de toilette

Good grief. I don't think I could make it through the entire pregnancy without some sort of commentary about what this little princess has done to my plumbing. So here we are - the plumbing blog. First off, I'll make this one nice and simple: Jenny McCarthy wrote a book called Belly Laughs which chronicles the journey of pregnancy in an extraordinarily candid light, touching on subjects that many consider too offensive for casual conversation. She has one chapter entitled "Passing Stonehenge"...... let's just say, I get it. Totally. I so totally get it. Luckily, I have a new prenatal vitamin that seems to be a little more, ahem, helpful in that area. So, enough on that.

Alright, onto another plumbing function that isn't exactly performing up to expectation: Today I was at the mall and while walking at what felt like a snail's pace, the hike to the restroom seemed never-ending. I mean, I thought we were going to have an accident - it was bad. So I'm racing to the restroom - not the public riff-raff one, but the one in Nordstrom (always reliable!) which forces me to walk a little further than necessary for relief (thus, tempting nature - like passing a rest stop thinking you can make it a few more miles before stopping; you know you have to go, but you think you can cram in "just a few more miles"?) So, alas, I make it to Nordie's and, accidents averted, I prepare to be greeted by sweet relief when... Hmm. How shall I put this? I was expecting Niagara Falls and I experienced more of a kinked backyard hose. Nothing short of disappointing. How could "this" have been the culprit of this much emergency? I mean, I could have proceeded with the aforementioned "accident" and no one would have been the wiser. I'm sure there is some medical explanation for this, one I don't really care about...I'm sure we blame the baby for it, as that's what we do these days. But I felt ripped off, like I needed my money back! Nonetheless, I was able to drive home in comfort with my mind and overzealous bladder at ease. However, this feeling of consternation (and no, I didn't say "constipation") every time I visit the powder room can really have an effect on one's sense of satisfaction, ya know? And I think I'll just leave it at that.

:)

House update: We have a contract! We close September 28th!!!

Mimi and Poppa ordered our crib! Yipppeeee!!!This picture is the crib, but we ordered it in chocolate brown (cherry wood)





Mimi (Betsy Ross) is taking her advertising-agency-quality story board of fabrics and colors to the next level...her fabric samples are fabulous! I can't WAIT to see our Pink and Cocoa Explosion of bedding and accessories!



(this picture is just the fabric she ordered...not her handiwork. We will not be having any of those stuffy looking silk bow tie looking things. We've essentially decided our theme is "Whimsy Chic". We're like "Queer Eye" but way gayer.)

We're signed up for birthing class - October 14! The idea of our cynical, inappropriate selves trying to sit through this class with a bunch of "good students" just makes me laugh. I hope we don't get kicked out for too much giggling and not enough panting and ....whatever the hell else they make you do in there.

And finally, we also have some shower dates nailed down (more on this later as I have amazing friends



who will not do any of the cliche, ridiculous baby shower rituals we've all been witness to over the years and for this I will be eternally grateful!!)-- October is going to be a madhouse!

Alright, that's all for now. I have to visit the toilet. Wish me luck!